throwback
When I was in middle school, I posted a fair share of surveys on MySpace, and it was always interesting to go back and read what I wrote at the time. THAT (and the fact that I have a serious inability to describe myself) is why I'm doing a survey.
What would make you feel embarrassed in public?: Being put on the spot. I usually get so nervous when this happens, that my mind goes completely blank. I've been known to stutter in these situations.
What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?: This is a hard question to answer considering how few 'injustices' I've experienced in my life, however, the first thing that comes to mind is my 12 Whole Foods applications and 0 follow-ups. I've reached out to current employees, former employees, managers and on Twitter, and not a PEEP.
What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it?: My "I'm right, you're wrong" attitude. It makes me practically intolerable and it's especially unfortunate when I actually have an important message to get across. I'm also very opinionated, intense, and not very nice as far as smiling and manners are concerned. What have I done about it? Nothing. Still working on that one.
What is your biggest strength? How did you develop it?: My ability to think independently. I can take in information from all facets of life and use it to form my own thoughts. I'm critical of the culture and society I live in, and I examine any and all "universal truths" or mass opinions. How did I develop it? A lot of alone-time. And my anarchist books definitely helped as well.
Would you rather go fully blind or fully deaf?: Deaf. I'm already not much of a talker in public, and I sure as hell hate listening to a majority of the conversations I'm forced to listen to. I also think sign language is beautiful and I imagine deaf people have a heightened understanding of body language, something I've always wanted to "master".
What do you have to put up with in your life?: I have to put up with living in a world where the majority doesn't have a clue what's really going on with regards to our environment, food, animals and rights. Ignorance, to sum it up. And I have to learn to be patient with others, and to remember that only a year ago I was in the dark too.
If you could change your name, what would your new name be?: I wouldn't change my name. One, I like my name.. always have. And two, names aren't important to me. I think it's silly to focus so heavily on labels. My name doesn't tell you anything about me... my actions do.
What type of person angers you the most?: Apathetic, careless people... willfully ignorant people. But naturally, my answer is kind of hypocritical because I am or have been these things before. I guess that's why I feel like I don't have a right to be angered by these people.
If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?: I would have more muscle... something I haven't had since high school. The good thing is, this is totally and completely attainable! Just need to stop making excuses and starting putting in the work.
What color dominates your wardrobe? How do you feel when you wear that color?: Probably black, creme, and pastel colors.. especially pink. I'm not a fan of bright colors. How do I feel? I don't feel any different when wearing different colors.
What kind of people do you usually get along with?: Patient types... because they're really the only people who can be around me without getting offended or pissed off. People who respect that I don't like superficiality in any form, and who understand that my being quiet isn't snobbery.
What do you think a stranger's first impression of you is/would be?: Quiet, 'shy' even, stuck-up (because I'm not a smiler)
What would be your perfect date?: Somewhere far away from a restaurant or a movie theater. Ideally something that enables us to talk. Honestly, any time I've been asked this question, I've pictured an adventure at sundown somewhere outside. That time of day always puts me in a reflective, insightful mood and it would be cool to share that with someone.
As a kid, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?: Famous. Isn't that sad? I was also interested in real estate.
Do you think an opinion deserves respect just by virtue of being an opinion?: I will say yes, but I rarely demonstrate this belief. It's hard for me to respect opinions that don't respect LIFE in all forms: humans, animals, Earth, etc.
What color is the front door of your house?: Brown? I've never really noticed the front door. Maybe I should get to know my childhood home a little better before I no longer have it in my life.
Describe your first relationship?: I was 15, he was my first everything. Probably the most artificial relationship I will ever be in. I cheated on him with the guy below.
Describe your last relationship?: From 16-18; Rocky, to put it lightly. We were both immature and at a point in our lives when fun was a big priority. The idea that we could be 'faithful' to another person at that point in our lives seems silly now. I still consider him a close friend, but we've fallen apart over the past year.
What are you really good at?: I type really fast.... Sadly enough, I can never think of an answer to this question. I've never really been 'great' at anything. Probably because I don't stick around long enough to get there.
What can you do better?: Exercise. I'm so out of shape.
Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?: I haven't had sex in almost three years, but I do think it's foolish not to practice safe sex. The last thing I want right now (or at any time in the near future) is a child.
What fear could wake you in the middle of the night?: I don't have any obvious fears that I can distinguish. I usually say that I have "no fears", but you and I both know that is impossible.
At what age do you feel like you grew up mentally/emotionally?: When I left Texas Tech and moved to New York.. so age 19.
Do you know your neighbours? Are you the type of person who will introduce yourself?: No and no. I don't really 'know' any of my neighbors... just on a "Hello, how are you" basis.
If you knew you only had one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it?: I would spend it with my family, since they are the only people I'm really close to. As for 'how', I can't really answer that one... but I know I'd like to have as much fresh air as possible and see/experience as much as I can in that short time. But seriously, I hate these kind of questions.
Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?: My favorite film is Amelie, but I don't think it's because it 'touches me deeply'. I like it because it's light and heartwarming and funny, and because Amelie is an example of someone I'd like to be like. Someone who helps others and sees the beauty in the most mundane of things.
Who would you like to forgive and forget?: I forgive all, something I've always been good at, I guess.
When was the last time you cried without anyone seeing you? And why?: Shoooot, this week. Why? Because I was feeling sorry for myself. Things tend to all pile up at once and I can't handle that well.
What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?: That I'm interesting.
What do you think it means to be in love?: I think romantic love is when you share a special connection with another human being... when you truly enjoy having them in your life. Love is not dependence. I believe that when you're in love, you should maintain a strong sense of self. The whole "you complete me" stuff is bs.
What do you think it means to be a good parent?: To provide a healthy environment in which the child can grow, without the imposition of stiff 'morals'. To care for your child, but not to the point where he or she cannot stand on their own. But what do I know, right?
What's your most striking physical attribute? Do you like it?: Most 'striking'? My pregnant fingers. Yes, I like them.
If you had the opportunity to go back in time and make a change, would you?: I should say no, because I'd like to avoid any Back to the Future situations (change one thing, change everything), but that's not to say that I don't have a few things in mind that I would do differently.
What would make you feel embarrassed in public?: Being put on the spot. I usually get so nervous when this happens, that my mind goes completely blank. I've been known to stutter in these situations.
What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?: This is a hard question to answer considering how few 'injustices' I've experienced in my life, however, the first thing that comes to mind is my 12 Whole Foods applications and 0 follow-ups. I've reached out to current employees, former employees, managers and on Twitter, and not a PEEP.
What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it?: My "I'm right, you're wrong" attitude. It makes me practically intolerable and it's especially unfortunate when I actually have an important message to get across. I'm also very opinionated, intense, and not very nice as far as smiling and manners are concerned. What have I done about it? Nothing. Still working on that one.
What is your biggest strength? How did you develop it?: My ability to think independently. I can take in information from all facets of life and use it to form my own thoughts. I'm critical of the culture and society I live in, and I examine any and all "universal truths" or mass opinions. How did I develop it? A lot of alone-time. And my anarchist books definitely helped as well.
Would you rather go fully blind or fully deaf?: Deaf. I'm already not much of a talker in public, and I sure as hell hate listening to a majority of the conversations I'm forced to listen to. I also think sign language is beautiful and I imagine deaf people have a heightened understanding of body language, something I've always wanted to "master".
What do you have to put up with in your life?: I have to put up with living in a world where the majority doesn't have a clue what's really going on with regards to our environment, food, animals and rights. Ignorance, to sum it up. And I have to learn to be patient with others, and to remember that only a year ago I was in the dark too.
If you could change your name, what would your new name be?: I wouldn't change my name. One, I like my name.. always have. And two, names aren't important to me. I think it's silly to focus so heavily on labels. My name doesn't tell you anything about me... my actions do.
What type of person angers you the most?: Apathetic, careless people... willfully ignorant people. But naturally, my answer is kind of hypocritical because I am or have been these things before. I guess that's why I feel like I don't have a right to be angered by these people.
If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?: I would have more muscle... something I haven't had since high school. The good thing is, this is totally and completely attainable! Just need to stop making excuses and starting putting in the work.
What color dominates your wardrobe? How do you feel when you wear that color?: Probably black, creme, and pastel colors.. especially pink. I'm not a fan of bright colors. How do I feel? I don't feel any different when wearing different colors.
What kind of people do you usually get along with?: Patient types... because they're really the only people who can be around me without getting offended or pissed off. People who respect that I don't like superficiality in any form, and who understand that my being quiet isn't snobbery.
What do you think a stranger's first impression of you is/would be?: Quiet, 'shy' even, stuck-up (because I'm not a smiler)
What would be your perfect date?: Somewhere far away from a restaurant or a movie theater. Ideally something that enables us to talk. Honestly, any time I've been asked this question, I've pictured an adventure at sundown somewhere outside. That time of day always puts me in a reflective, insightful mood and it would be cool to share that with someone.
As a kid, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?: Famous. Isn't that sad? I was also interested in real estate.
Do you think an opinion deserves respect just by virtue of being an opinion?: I will say yes, but I rarely demonstrate this belief. It's hard for me to respect opinions that don't respect LIFE in all forms: humans, animals, Earth, etc.
What color is the front door of your house?: Brown? I've never really noticed the front door. Maybe I should get to know my childhood home a little better before I no longer have it in my life.
Describe your first relationship?: I was 15, he was my first everything. Probably the most artificial relationship I will ever be in. I cheated on him with the guy below.
Describe your last relationship?: From 16-18; Rocky, to put it lightly. We were both immature and at a point in our lives when fun was a big priority. The idea that we could be 'faithful' to another person at that point in our lives seems silly now. I still consider him a close friend, but we've fallen apart over the past year.
What are you really good at?: I type really fast.... Sadly enough, I can never think of an answer to this question. I've never really been 'great' at anything. Probably because I don't stick around long enough to get there.
What can you do better?: Exercise. I'm so out of shape.
Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?: I haven't had sex in almost three years, but I do think it's foolish not to practice safe sex. The last thing I want right now (or at any time in the near future) is a child.
What fear could wake you in the middle of the night?: I don't have any obvious fears that I can distinguish. I usually say that I have "no fears", but you and I both know that is impossible.
At what age do you feel like you grew up mentally/emotionally?: When I left Texas Tech and moved to New York.. so age 19.
Do you know your neighbours? Are you the type of person who will introduce yourself?: No and no. I don't really 'know' any of my neighbors... just on a "Hello, how are you" basis.
If you knew you only had one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it?: I would spend it with my family, since they are the only people I'm really close to. As for 'how', I can't really answer that one... but I know I'd like to have as much fresh air as possible and see/experience as much as I can in that short time. But seriously, I hate these kind of questions.
Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?: My favorite film is Amelie, but I don't think it's because it 'touches me deeply'. I like it because it's light and heartwarming and funny, and because Amelie is an example of someone I'd like to be like. Someone who helps others and sees the beauty in the most mundane of things.
Who would you like to forgive and forget?: I forgive all, something I've always been good at, I guess.
When was the last time you cried without anyone seeing you? And why?: Shoooot, this week. Why? Because I was feeling sorry for myself. Things tend to all pile up at once and I can't handle that well.
What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?: That I'm interesting.
What do you think it means to be in love?: I think romantic love is when you share a special connection with another human being... when you truly enjoy having them in your life. Love is not dependence. I believe that when you're in love, you should maintain a strong sense of self. The whole "you complete me" stuff is bs.
What do you think it means to be a good parent?: To provide a healthy environment in which the child can grow, without the imposition of stiff 'morals'. To care for your child, but not to the point where he or she cannot stand on their own. But what do I know, right?
What's your most striking physical attribute? Do you like it?: Most 'striking'? My pregnant fingers. Yes, I like them.
If you had the opportunity to go back in time and make a change, would you?: I should say no, because I'd like to avoid any Back to the Future situations (change one thing, change everything), but that's not to say that I don't have a few things in mind that I would do differently.
Written on Thursday, April 5, 2012 at 10:31 AM
by Shelby
Disillusioned.
Disillusioned with my living situation. I had high hopes for the cooperative experience. I thought I would break free of my (thick) shell and find my inner-extrovert, meet like-minded people, become more involved in my community.
Unfortunately, reality always disappoints.
The co-op is nothing of a home to me. In fact, it more closely represents a lonely hotel room. I guess that's why I'm always thinking of any excuse to leave; to stay at my real home in Round Rock. Of course, when I spend so much time at home, I can't help but feel guilty for wasting so much (more) of my parent's money. I feel like I'm always trying new things, moving new places, and my parent's are the ones footing the bill. <-- I really need to grow up.
It's so sad how suffocating money is. It always chews it's way into each and every area of my life, dictating my feelings and thoughts about myself no matter how hard I try to shake it. Right now I feel GUILTY and FOOLISH for spending more time at home than I do at my 700/month apartment.
It's so sad how suffocating money is. It always chews it's way into each and every area of my life, dictating my feelings and thoughts about myself no matter how hard I try to shake it. Right now I feel GUILTY and FOOLISH for spending more time at home than I do at my 700/month apartment.
Written on Monday, April 2, 2012 at 4:30 PM
by Shelby
The Girl Who Started A Million Blogs
That’s me. Starting things has always been something that I enjoy, from my failed-before-it-started belt business in the 3rd grade to this here blog. When I feel like I need some excitement in my life, I start something; anything. The only problem is that I rarely finish it. THERE, my problem: I can’t finish what I start. I shouldn’t say “can’t”, should I? Because that would imply that I have a physical disability of some sort that is keeping me from finishing things. Though part of me wishes I had a legitimate reason for my giant lack of responsibility, the fact of the matter is.. I am 100% capable of finishing things, I just WON’T.
Won’t. That’s the right word. I CAN, but I WON’T. Why not, you (and I) ask?
This, I’m not sure of. All I know is that it’s about damn time I finish something. The only “hobby” I’ve managed to maintain is my blog (http://www.sunshel.com) and not without encouragement from my Dad. I’m starting a new job this week and I want this one to last. I want to be the kind of employee that people are looking to hire–dependable, responsible, enthusiastic. I want to actually live up to my cheesy interview answers and “go above and beyond”.
Let’s see if I can will succeed this time.
Written on Sunday, April 1, 2012 at 8:18 PM
by Shelby